When it comes to marriage and my role as a wife, I don’t talk about it often because I still feel like a new wife with less than a decade of experience compared to many of our friends’ double-digit marital years. I got married without knowing a lot of things about being a wife. When I look into the Bible for wisdom, particularly Proverbs 31, I feel somewhat inadequate. The whole chapter summarizes about a virtuous wife — it’s my dream role — but sometimes I find myself avoiding that chapter just so I won’t be reminded of what I lack. Sounds depressing, isn’t it? Well, on our anniversary this year, I interviewed my husband. He mentioned that he wish for me to answer the same questions I asked him to answer. So here is my reply to the 8 questions to ask your spouse:
1. What is your personal definition of marriage?
Marriage is an honored vow, a commitment to love someone unconditionally.
2. What is the best thing about being married?
To have someone to talk to and share just about anything and everything under the sun.
3. What do you value most about your marriage?
Honesty. I value that my husband builds our relationship in truth.
4. What are the things you sacrificed/gave up for your marriage?
My personal space…and sometimes my sense of style. (ex. Hubby likes matching shirts with me).
5. What lessons have you learned in your marriage?
I learned that when two imperfect people work together, takes the time to listen, and embrace differences, there is harmony in the marriage. I also learn that forgiveness and respect make it easy to have reconciliation. One should never lose respect towards the other.
6. What is your secret ingredient to a successful marriage?
Forgiveness. You know, I have certain mood swings that I almost always regret afterward. I try to swallow my pride to say sorry and then I hear the words, “It’s ok. I forgive you.” For me, it’s the sweetest thing I could hear from anyone, especially from my husband. He doesn’t even make a fuss about it. Straight away, I receive forgiveness.
7. What advice would you give to young women who are contemplating on getting married or those who are in their early years of marriage?
Take care of yourself. Take care of your husband. Take care of your vows to each other. There may be times when you couldn’t find the energy to fulfill your wifely duties, it’s ok, as long as you do your best to get back on track. Each day is a commitment. Strive to meet that goal each day. After all, anything that you value the most is worth fighting for.
8. What is your goal in your marriage?
To stay married forever.
I see my husband as my bestfriend and confidante. He is my favorite blessing from the Lord and I am more than grateful to be able to share my life with him.